Written by Rawia Liverpool, Transactional Analysis & NLP Counsellor
Anxiety was a constant companion throughout my childhood and young adult life. Growing up, I saw it demonstrated clearly by parental figures and society at large. A civil war, a coup d’état and a sudden death in the family only served to perpetuate this anxiety and add trauma to injury.
Anxiety (or fear) has a purpose: to signal danger in life threatening situations and alert us to do one of three things: fight, flight or freeze. In our world today we mostly face non-life-threatening events that build up and elicit a false fight-flight-freeze response. Since we can’t avoid these modern-day stresses, such as paying the bills, giving a presentation, sitting for an exam, or doing an interview, as they build-up we can end up with a nervous system overload. Although this response is in tune with how your brain is programmed to respond, it is often disproportionate to present moment circumstances.
Anxiety comes in many different forms: chronic worrying, fears and phobias, performance anxiety, public-speaking anxiety, shyness, panic attacks, fear of stepping outside your home, obsessions and compulsions, post-traumatic stress disorder, concerns about your appearance or worries about your health. No matter the type of anxiety or fear you are experiencing, there are elements in common to all anxieties:
They all involve negative patterns of thinking. Often when you feel anxious and afraid you are telling yourself that something terrible is about to happen. You conjure a negative scenario in your head, for example about taking a flight, standing in front of an audience or meeting someone new. The fear is as a result of the negative messages and scenarios you are playing in your head.
They all lead you to avoid the thing that you anxious about. Depending on what makes you anxious, you go through life avoiding it. You avoid flying for example, or giving a speech, or taking the lift, or meeting new people.
They involve suppressing your authentic emotions. Perhaps you grew up in a culture where emotions were kept in. Perhaps the messages you got growing up were that it’s not okay to talk about your feelings. Anxiety may be a result of these unprocessed feelings surfacing in response to experiencing certain life changing events such as a new relationship, a breakup, a promotion, a relocation, having children or the death of a loved one. These events can arouse inner unresolved conflicts and trigger feelings of fear and anxiety.
The symptoms of anxiety are not always obvious. They can manifest themselves in different ways such as talking too much and exhibiting endless energy or talking too little and being withdrawn. They can be mild but chronic, or severe and acute. Some ailments, such as headaches or digestive problems, can also be related to chronic anxiety.
I went through a big part of my life not addressing my own anxiety and instead suppressing feelings of discomfort. Eventually, through my psychological studies and therapy I gained valuable awareness and understanding of my own anxiety related issues and in turn learnt resourceful ways to manage them.
Many of the questions at the 𝘔𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘵 𝘋𝘦𝘯 𝘏𝘢𝘢𝘨 sessions I led were about 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺, and coincidentally many of my clients also struggle with fear and anxiety. I can relate to their experience, as well as co-creatively guide them to a calmer more grounded place. A place where they feel safe to be their authentic selves.
The reality is that life is stressful and certain events can lead us to feel anxious and afraid. It’s not about leading a life devoid from anxiety but learning how to manage it so it is proportional to the event being experienced.
It’s important to address your anxiety and seek professional help, if necessary, as in some serious cases it can lead to depression and even suicide.
I am looking forward to talking about anxiety alongside other professionals at the workshop offered in September at The Hague Natural Health Centre.
To 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 the coaching and counselling 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘴 I offer, please take a look at my website below or contact me to take advantage of my free 15 minute consultation.
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