What is a Healthy Weight?

What is a healthy weight? We're told it's all about numbers. BMI (body mass index), the number on the scales, the number of calories to consume, or burn, or avoid… but numbers don't give you the whole story and they won't get you closer to a healthy relationship with your body. So, what will?

The problem with BMI and counting calories

The problem with using BMI to determine whether your weight is healthy or not is that BMI does not take into account that all bodies are different. BMI uses your weight and your height to deliver an arbitrary judgement: 18.5-25 – healthy; 25-30 – overweight; over 30 – obese. But it cannot measure muscle or body fat, nor how fat is distributed. A body-builder's heavy muscles will give them a BMI score of "obese". Someone might be slender and have a "healthy" BMI but be carrying a lot of belly fat, which is a marker for chronic disease and points to something being out of balance.

BMI can't tell you why you may have gained weight. It just puts you in a box, and gives you a number to chase (usually by reducing another number – calories). This takes you further away from your body rather than connecting you to it. And that's a problem because being connected to your body is fundamental to shift towards a healthier lifestyle.

The same goes for calories. Calories don't give you the important information about food, such as what it contains and whether or not it supports your body.

How calories are calculated

Food scientists use a method called "bomb calorimetry" to calculate calories in food. A sample of food is placed in a chamber surrounded by water, and then burned. The heat increases the water's temperature, and this is used to calculate the food's energy – if the water temperature increases by 50 degrees, the food contains 50 calories. This implies that there's no difference between 2000 calories of burgers and fries and 2000 calories of tofu and greens (which is, of course, nonsense).

Dieting does not work

The main objective of most popular dieting models is to reduce your BMI by reducing your calorie intake. But statistics show us this model doesn’t work – in fact almost all dieters regain the weight, and more, within 1-5 years. [ref: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8216368]

Most of us are familiar with the diet cycle: stepping on the scales to see a number we've decided (or have been told) is unacceptable, that number causing an inner panic, that panic propelling us towards another diet, weeks of calorie counting or cutting out entire food-groups, only to put the weight back on and begin all over again, a little more stressed and a little less confident than the last time.

Taking a step back and being gently curious about what your current eating habits are doing for you is the first step to break out of patterns that no longer serve you and begin creating a healthy, vibrant, more connected life.

Here's how you can get started:

Four tips to move towards a healthier weight

#1 Swap your goal weight with goal feelings

I invite you to ditch the numbers and instead begin to explore what a healthy weight means to you. Make a list of feelings you associate with being healthy – it might be confidence, pride in yourself, being unafraid to dream, being bold or motivated, feeling sensual, creative, energetic, etc. Then make a list of actions, behaviours and situations where you feel those feelings. Maybe you feel confident or motivated when you spend time with like-minded people, or you unlock some creativity after you get a massage, or you get in touch with your sensual side when you dance to a particular song. You'll end up with a list of ways to engage with the feelings of being healthy (and none of these will involve stepping onto the bathroom scales).

#2 Take a bold, judgement-free look at your current eating habits

Write it all down, every day, for a couple of weeks. Don't try to change anything, just record what you eat – when, with whom, and how much, alongside emotions, situations and stress-levels. This will give you clarity on your eating patterns, shining a light on areas where things are out of balance and supporting a deeper understanding of how your emotions and environment are driving your choices. From this place, it is easier to see where you can make the most effective changes – not to what's on your plate, but to the parts of yourself that are on autopilot when it comes to food.

#3 Forget about calories

Choose instead to nourish your body with whole foods. That means balancing your plate with complex carbohydrates, plant protein, healthy fats and plenty of fruits and vegetables. I promise that it isn't boring, or bland, or complicated. In fact, I've written a free guide that explains how these nutrients support holistic health and includes simple delicious recipes to get you started. You can download it here. [link to: www.delftwellnesscoach.nl/resources]

# 4 Work with a coach or therapist

Weight-gain is a complex issue. It's driven by many factors, from the addictive nature of the foods we consume (for example, ultra processed foods are manufactured to light up our dopamine receptors for ultimate pleasure and what's known in the business as "repeat appeal"), to the unconscious beliefs we hold about ourselves, the need to soothe stress or the desire to escape life's grind for a moment or two. Working with a coach or therapist can speed up your understanding of yourself and bring clarity to your automatic patterns so that you can make different choices – choices rooted in authenticity, intentionality, connection, and health.

A longer version of this blog post is available here: https://www.delftwellnesscoach.nl/post/healthy-weight-without-counting-calories

About the author

Melanie is an ICF-accredited, trauma-informed life coach and a Compassionate Inquiry practitioner on a mission to help people reconnect with authenticity and vibrant health. Using a blend of holistic coaching, somatic work, naturopathic nutrition and mindfulness, she helps clients understand the root causes of their patterns so they can move towards positive change, creating a life that feels aligned and meaningful. Learn more or book a no-obligation introduction call here: https://www.delftwellnesscoach.nl/